How to graduate in Sikhi - Sobha Mere Lalan Ki

Notes For Discussing Sobha Mere Laalan Ki
Discussion during Graduation Season

Graduation Lessons:

The two most important days in any one's life: one is the day they were born, and the second is the day they find out why.

How to graduate?
Renew yourself

I You are not in control. Accept.
>Brahm Mahesh
Obama said: “As we get older, we learn we don’t always have control of things — not even a president does. But we do have control over how we respond to the world. We do have control over how we treat one another.”

It is difficult. Because you want to be in control.

1. Sab Ko Terai Jor - Sri

2. Aakhan Aukha Saacha Nao

II Keep good company

> Kaho Nanak
> Man - Keep Guru in the heart
1. Chaar Padarath
2. Bisar Gayi
1. Simar Mana Raam Naam - Bilawal

III Remember, remind yourself. Simran. All the time.

> Sad
1. Saas Saas Simro - Gauri

IV Singing means seeing the beauty - Sobha

Not just accept, singing of oneness. Day and night see the beauty. Wake up with hope, and sleep with thanks.

> Sobha
1. Bhinni Rainariye - Asa
2. Gagan meh thal rav -  Dhanasri

V Love is the only path
> Laalan
1. Jim Prem Kiyo Tin hi Prabh Payo
2. Karima Rahima Allah Tu Gani
3. Mithbolra - Suhi

Conclusion: See oneness in all

1. Prabh paas jan ki

Research on the Shabad "Mere Laalan Ki Sobha"

O the glory of my love!
Glory continuously renewing my mind!

Sobha -
Beauty; satyam shivam sundaram

But there is a problem with the beauty
Especially the beauty that we see in the world
Brahma, Mahesh, Sidha Munna, Indra
Jog, Gyan, Dhyan, Sekhnage

The beauty that we see in the world
and the beauty that we can imagine
let us imagine Brahma who spoke all the vedas
is still dependent on someone else

There is something bigger than us
that there is infinity in space and time

The real beauty is in the company of the saints
because saints are like flowers
they do not have egos
when the season comes they flower
and when the season goes they give everything
they have for the development of the others
dekh phool phool phoolai

and in doing so they are with oneness
they are with infinity -
Ja Tu Mere Val Hai
Lakh chaurasi medni, sabh sev karanda

the difference between real beauty
and temporary beauty is ego
Jenko apni sobha lorai, sadh sang eh haumai chhorai

that way they become beautiful
What simran provides is
continuous renewal
and simran is not just saying
something from your voice
or singing sweet - although it doesnt hurt
Guru Tegh Bahadur

when I

What is this shabad aboue: Newness and Navtan versus puratan 

Navtan has the same origin as new
It means new.  Compared to puratan which means old. 

Examples of renewal 

Renewal is abundant in the world. Everything is changing. 

Survival of the fittest and natural selection  per Darwin shows how species can renew themselves. How did fish develop legs and the evaporating pool theory. 

People don't want to renew

Aankhan aukha Saacha nau 
The reality of truth is that renewal happens. Those who don't renew end up being dead. Those who don't renew their minds are spiritually dead.  

A story about the Isle De Jean Charles - an island of the coast of Louisiana. It is drowning slowly under water. It might be the first community with "climate refugees". But there are some folks who don't want to move. They don't want to change. They are attached to their land. They are attached to the stories of their ancestors. 

Even the best and brightest need renewal

Brahma and Mahadev. 

Why do we need renewal? What happens when renewal happens?

To keep going. You need to refresh. Otherwise you are bogged down. The feeling that everything is new - exciting - chardi kala.

Everything in this world is new. Everything is different.  Difference is what makes it exciting.  It makes life fun.  

Only a few do something new.  Most people are copycats. Whether it is art music or work. Lifestyle or vacation. There is much copying.

When you start a new year you make resolutions.  When you restart your life you also make promises.  You forgive and forget what happened in the past.  You have a new hope.  Once vivekananda was asked by an American boy - what is worse than losing your girlfriend, and he responded losing the hope that you will have another.  A restart is important so many times.  It gives you new hope.

Lets say there is a bank screen. You are going to notice the thing that changes the most. Whether its the color or the position. Whichever thing changes the most.  Even if you have a beautiful diamond on a picture, after a while a still image with no changes becomes boring.  You notice what changes, what moves.

What needs the renewal?

Lady Gaga and Madonna are known for reinventing themselves. Lady Gaga once said about Madonna: “She reinvents herself from album to album. I reinvent myself week to week. I get quite bored with things and I don't want to let down my fans.” They are successful as artists.  

Thats the first kind of two renewals.  The first is when you do it outside in.  It is temporary.  It comes off.  What does not come off is the transformation that is done from inside out.  Therefore it acts first on the "Man" - for sake of simplicity lets call it mind. 

Advice on renewal comes from other scriptures too:

Romans 12:2
New International Version (NIV)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Ephesians 4:23
Amplified Bible (AMP)

and be continually renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh, untarnished mental and spiritual attitude],

How is the renewal done:

You have to press that refresh button of your mind.  Otherwise whats on the mind's screen is outdated and stale, and it causes dissatisfaction.

You have be colored in the color of One!  That is how renewal happens.

The closer you are to ekonkaar the fresher you are. But there are so many distractions in life. To remain fresh you have to remember all the time. You have to remind yourself incessantly. "Khoj dil har roj". Discover within your heart everyday.

You have to give up the load that you have been carrying from the past.  You have to shed all the weight to start the renewal process.

Five Thieves: Kaam Krodh Lobh Moh Ahankar

The mind has to be changed
Kaam and Raam
Krodh and Daya
Ahankaar and Nirankaar
Jealousy and Gratitude

In other words, you have to make yourself ungreat again. Go back to your roots. When you were a speck even in your own perspective.  You will appear a smaller speck in the universe's perspective.

Loose Control
You don't have control about what will happen to you.  Even great sages, and the devas of the Hindu pantheon don't have complete control.  Brahma has control only only making; Shiva on destroying, Indra on rain.  They don't have complete control.  There is a bigger force encompassing all of us that has complete control.

Have Gratitude

denda de lende thak pahi
The giver continues to give
Receivers grow wary

The giver of all does kalyan. He bestows all kinds of gifts upon us.  But instead of being thankful we want something else.  Guru Arjan is different. He is always newly colored by the love of Waheguru.

How did Dada Chelaram do it? 

We forget about our gifts. In spite of being thankful for what we have, we often complain about what we don't have.

How did Ernest Hemingway do it?

I read a report in NY Times by David Brooks who went to see the house of celebrated American writer Ernest Hemingway when he was living in Havana, Cuba: Getting to Zero
This is a process that we might call “getting to zero,” when an artist — or anyone, really — digs through all the sap that gets encrusted around a career or relationship and retouches the intrinsic impulse that got him or her into it in the first place. Hemingway’s career got overlayered by money, persona and fame, but sometimes even at this late stage he was able to reconnect with the young man’s directness that produced his early best work 
Hemingway was a man who embraced every self-indulgence that can afflict a successful person. But at moments he shed all that he had earned and received, and rediscovered the hard-working, clear-seeing and unadorned man he used to be.
We need to retouch our intrinsic impulses. We need to reconnect with our higher beings.  We need to rediscover our true selves.  We need to renew ourselves and the results are amazing.

How did I do it?

Anything that we repeat can be transformative. This poem transformed me. I have made a lot of friends from strangers who I've met on plane journeys. It also reminds me of Guru Arjan's words, "I have no enemy, I have no stranger".

When do we need renewal

When do we need to replace the sheet. When it can't do its purpose. When do we need to replace a phone. When it stops working. Renewal is needed when the purpose is lost. As soon as you forget that the purpose of life is to sing, you need a renewal. You need to remind yourself of the song that you are meant to sing in this world.

You need renewal always because as soon as you forget your purpose it is as good as dying. Akhaan jeevan visrai mar jaon.

Just like vacation increases the productivity at work?

You need renewal when you are successful. You need renewal after your failings.

In other words you need it always.  You need it continuously.

Guru Ram Das says in Raag Suhi:
jae sukh dhaehi th thujhehi araadhhee dhukh bhee thujhai dhhiaaee ||2||
jae bhukh dhaehi th eith hee raajaa dhukh vich sookh manaaee ||3||
If You will bless me with happiness, then I will worship and adore You. Even in pain, I will meditate on You. ||2||
Even if You give me hunger, I will still feel satisfied; I am joyful, even in the midst of sorrow. ||3||
So the answer is always. Continuously. And most importantly Now. Renewal is needed now.


In the end what I learn from this Shabad is that the singing of the glory of God, the remembrance of his virtues and their internalization in our mind, renews our mind.

I learn that Gurbani can be life transforming, only if we open the doors of our hearts.

"Everything changes but change itself." -Heraclitus Acceptance of change is acceptance of hukam.

The mind has a lot of choices.  The beauty of unity colors the mind with new colors every moment.

It can be transforming if you realize the sobha, or the beauty of ekonkar.  It can be transforming if you realize that a bigger power controls. The beauty and awesomeness of ekonkar lets you reliquish control.  It lets you accept what is happening. It makes you happier.  This is the renewal that is seeked in this shabad. Glory is what renews our mind. Glory is what renews us. Sad Natan Man Rangi Sobha.

We need the renewal all the time.