Among the many ways the Laavaan have been understood, I have been drawn to one that follows the movement of Guru Ram Das's own words.
The first step is parvirti—a turning homeward, a rooting in wisdom, remembrance, and dharam that prepares the soul for what is to come. The second is milaya, meeting. Through the meeting with the True Guru, fear and ego begin to fall away. The eyes are transformed. The Divine is seen everywhere, and the unstruck Song begins to resound within. The third step is chao—the awakening of longing. This is not the desire to possess, but the desire to know, to grow, and to remain in the presence of the Beloved. Love ripens into yearning. The fourth step is getting to eternal love in sahaj—through intuitive ease. The restless search begins to quiet. The heart's deepest longing is fulfilled not through striving, but through trust, presence, and an undying rest.
I realize this is very different from the translations you have seen. I have tried to focus on the etymologies of words in the laavan - parvirti for instance means a turning around, and not family (it is not related to the word parivar which means family, but par + vriti, the other direction literally). Read in the way of the words' etymology, the Laavaan describe a beautiful progression of the soul: turning, meeting, longing, and resting. This journey belongs to every soul-bride, every seeker of love. What follows is a translation shaped by this vision, followed by a note I wrote about how relevant this poem is in current times.
First Laav
ਹਰਿ ਪਹਿਲੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਪਰਵਿਰਤੀ ਕਰਮ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har pahilṛī lāv parviratī karam driṛāiā bali rām jīu.
In the first step, Hari turns us homeward.
ਬਾਣੀ ਬ੍ਰਹਮਾ ਵੇਦੁ ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਪਾਪ ਤਜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Bāṇī brahmā vedu dharamu driṛahu pāp tajāiā bali rām jīu.
Root yourself in wisdom, in song, in dharam; release what pulls you away.
ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਵਹੁ ਸਿਮ੍ਰਿਤਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ॥
Dharamu driṛahu hari nāmu dhiāvahu simriti nāmu driṛāiā.
Stand firm in dharam, remember the Name, and let remembrance deepen.
ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰਾ ਆਰਾਧਹੁ ਸਭਿ ਕਿਲਵਿਖ ਪਾਪ ਗਵਾਇਆ ॥
Satiguru guru pūrā ārādhahu sabhi kilavikh pāp gavāiā.
Cherish the True Guru, and the burdens of the past fall away.
ਸਹਜ ਅਨੰਦੁ ਹੋਆ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਮਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ॥
Sahaj anandu hoā vaḍbhāgī mani hari hari mīṭhā lāiā.
Then bliss arises naturally, and Hari becomes sweet to the heart.
ਜਨੁ ਕਹੈ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਲਾਵ ਪਹਿਲੀ ਆਰੰਭੁ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ॥੧॥
Janu kahai nānaku lāv pahilī ārambhu kāju racāiā.
Says Nanak: this is the first step—the journey begins.
Second Laav
ਹਰਿ ਦੂਜੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਮਿਲਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har dūjṛī lāv satiguru purakhu milāiā bali rām jīu.
In the second step, you meet the True Guru.
ਨਿਰਭਉ ਭੈ ਮਨੁ ਹੋਇ ਹਉਮੈ ਮੈਲੁ ਗਵਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Nirbhau bhai manu hoi haumai mailu gavāiā bali rām jīu.
Fear gives way to fearlessness, and the dust of ego is washed away.
ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਭਉ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਵੇਖੈ ਰਾਮੁ ਹਦੂਰੇ ॥
Niramalu bhau pāiā hari guṇ gāiā hari vekhai rāmu hadūre.
Pure awe awakens, you sing Hari's virtues, and you see Ram before you.
ਹਰਿ ਆਤਮ ਰਾਮੁ ਪਸਾਰਿਆ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਸਰਬ ਰਹਿਆ ਭਰਪੂਰੇ ॥
Har ātam rāmu pasāriā suāmī sarab rahiā bharapūre.
The Ram within reveals itself as the One present everywhere.
ਅੰਤਰਿ ਬਾਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਏਕੋ ਮਿਲਿ ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਮੰਗਲ ਗਾਏ ॥
Antari bāhari hari prabhu eko mili hari jan maṅgal gāe.
Inside and outside, the same One—the lovers of Hari sing songs of joy.
ਜਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਦੂਜੀ ਲਾਵ ਚਲਾਈ ਅਨਹਦ ਸਬਦ ਵਜਾਏ ॥੨॥
Jan nānak dūjī lāv calāī anahad sabad vajāe.
Says Nanak: in the second step, the unstruck Song begins to resound.
Third Laav
ਹਰਿ ਤੀਜੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਮਨਿ ਚਾਉ ਭਇਆ ਬੈਰਾਗੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har tījṛī lāv mani cāu bhaiā bairāgīā bali rām jīu.
In the third step, a longing awakens and the heart turns toward Hari alone.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਹਰਿ ਮੇਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਵਡਭਾਗੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Sant janā hari melu hari pāiā vaḍbhāgīā bali rām jīu.
Through the company of saints, Hari is found—a rare blessing.
ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇਆ ਮੁਖਿ ਬੋਲੀ ਹਰਿ ਬਾਣੀ ॥
Niramalu hari pāiā hari guṇ gāiā mukhi bolī hari bāṇī.
The Pure One is found, His praises are sung, and the tongue speaks Hari's song.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਕਥੀਐ ਅਕਥ ਕਹਾਣੀ ॥
Sant janā vaḍbhāgī pāiā hari kathīai akath kahāṇī.
Blessed is the meeting with saints—together they speak the unspeakable.
ਹਿਰਦੈ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਧੁਨਿ ਉਪਜੀ ਹਰਿ ਜਪੀਐ ਮਸਤਕਿ ਭਾਗੁ ਜੀਉ ॥
Hiradai hari hari hari dhuni upajī hari japīai masataki bhāgu jīu.
Within the heart, Hari, Hari, Hari resounds—destiny unfolds.
ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬੋਲੇ ਤੀਜੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਉਪਜੈ ਮਨਿ ਬੈਰਾਗੁ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
Janu nāku bole tījī lāvai hari upjai mani bairāgu jīu.
Says Nanak: in the third step, love deepens into longing.
Fourth Laav
ਹਰਿ ਚਉਥੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਮਨਿ ਸਹਜੁ ਭਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har cauthṛī lāv mani sahaju bhaiā hari pāiā bali rām jīu.
In the fourth step, the mind comes to rest—Hari is found.
ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਸੁਭਾਇ ਹਰਿ ਮਨਿ ਤਨਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Guramukhi miliā subhāi hari mani tani mīṭhā lāiā bali rām jīu.
Through the Guru's way, meeting happens naturally—Hari becomes sweet to body and soul.
ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਭਾਇਆ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਈ ॥
Har mīṭhā lāiā mere prabh bhāiā anadinu hari liv lāī.
Hari is sweet, the Beloved is pleased—day and night, attention rests in Him.
ਮਨ ਚਿੰਦਿਆ ਫਲੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਜੀ ਵਾਧਾਈ ॥
Man cindiā phalu pāiā suāmī hari nāmi vajī vādhāī.
The heart's desire comes to fruition—the Name rings out in celebration.
ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭਿ ਠਾਕੁਰਿ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ਧਨ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਿਗਾਸੀ ॥
Har prabhi ṭhākuri kāju racāiā dhan hiradai nāmi vigāsī.
The union is fulfilled—the bride's heart blooms in the Naam.
ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬੋਲੇ ਚਉਥੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅਵਿਨਾਸੀ ॥੪॥੨॥
Janu nānaku bole cauthī lāvai hari pāiā prabhu avināsī.
Says Nanak: in the fourth step, the eternal hari/prabhu/love is found.
The first step is parvirti—a turning homeward, a rooting in wisdom, remembrance, and dharam that prepares the soul for what is to come. The second is milaya, meeting. Through the meeting with the True Guru, fear and ego begin to fall away. The eyes are transformed. The Divine is seen everywhere, and the unstruck Song begins to resound within. The third step is chao—the awakening of longing. This is not the desire to possess, but the desire to know, to grow, and to remain in the presence of the Beloved. Love ripens into yearning. The fourth step is getting to eternal love in sahaj—through intuitive ease. The restless search begins to quiet. The heart's deepest longing is fulfilled not through striving, but through trust, presence, and an undying rest.
I realize this is very different from the translations you have seen. I have tried to focus on the etymologies of words in the laavan - parvirti for instance means a turning around, and not family (it is not related to the word parivar which means family, but par + vriti, the other direction literally). Read in the way of the words' etymology, the Laavaan describe a beautiful progression of the soul: turning, meeting, longing, and resting. This journey belongs to every soul-bride, every seeker of love. What follows is a translation shaped by this vision, followed by a note I wrote about how relevant this poem is in current times.
First Laav
ਹਰਿ ਪਹਿਲੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਪਰਵਿਰਤੀ ਕਰਮ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har pahilṛī lāv parviratī karam driṛāiā bali rām jīu.
In the first step, Hari turns us homeward.
ਬਾਣੀ ਬ੍ਰਹਮਾ ਵੇਦੁ ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਪਾਪ ਤਜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Bāṇī brahmā vedu dharamu driṛahu pāp tajāiā bali rām jīu.
Root yourself in wisdom, in song, in dharam; release what pulls you away.
ਧਰਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਹੁ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਵਹੁ ਸਿਮ੍ਰਿਤਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ॥
Dharamu driṛahu hari nāmu dhiāvahu simriti nāmu driṛāiā.
Stand firm in dharam, remember the Name, and let remembrance deepen.
ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰਾ ਆਰਾਧਹੁ ਸਭਿ ਕਿਲਵਿਖ ਪਾਪ ਗਵਾਇਆ ॥
Satiguru guru pūrā ārādhahu sabhi kilavikh pāp gavāiā.
Cherish the True Guru, and the burdens of the past fall away.
ਸਹਜ ਅਨੰਦੁ ਹੋਆ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਮਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ॥
Sahaj anandu hoā vaḍbhāgī mani hari hari mīṭhā lāiā.
Then bliss arises naturally, and Hari becomes sweet to the heart.
ਜਨੁ ਕਹੈ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਲਾਵ ਪਹਿਲੀ ਆਰੰਭੁ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ॥੧॥
Janu kahai nānaku lāv pahilī ārambhu kāju racāiā.
Says Nanak: this is the first step—the journey begins.
Second Laav
ਹਰਿ ਦੂਜੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਮਿਲਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har dūjṛī lāv satiguru purakhu milāiā bali rām jīu.
In the second step, you meet the True Guru.
ਨਿਰਭਉ ਭੈ ਮਨੁ ਹੋਇ ਹਉਮੈ ਮੈਲੁ ਗਵਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Nirbhau bhai manu hoi haumai mailu gavāiā bali rām jīu.
Fear gives way to fearlessness, and the dust of ego is washed away.
ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਭਉ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਵੇਖੈ ਰਾਮੁ ਹਦੂਰੇ ॥
Niramalu bhau pāiā hari guṇ gāiā hari vekhai rāmu hadūre.
Pure awe awakens, you sing Hari's virtues, and you see Ram before you.
ਹਰਿ ਆਤਮ ਰਾਮੁ ਪਸਾਰਿਆ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਸਰਬ ਰਹਿਆ ਭਰਪੂਰੇ ॥
Har ātam rāmu pasāriā suāmī sarab rahiā bharapūre.
The Ram within reveals itself as the One present everywhere.
ਅੰਤਰਿ ਬਾਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਏਕੋ ਮਿਲਿ ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਮੰਗਲ ਗਾਏ ॥
Antari bāhari hari prabhu eko mili hari jan maṅgal gāe.
Inside and outside, the same One—the lovers of Hari sing songs of joy.
ਜਨ ਨਾਨਕ ਦੂਜੀ ਲਾਵ ਚਲਾਈ ਅਨਹਦ ਸਬਦ ਵਜਾਏ ॥੨॥
Jan nānak dūjī lāv calāī anahad sabad vajāe.
Says Nanak: in the second step, the unstruck Song begins to resound.
Third Laav
ਹਰਿ ਤੀਜੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਮਨਿ ਚਾਉ ਭਇਆ ਬੈਰਾਗੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har tījṛī lāv mani cāu bhaiā bairāgīā bali rām jīu.
In the third step, a longing awakens and the heart turns toward Hari alone.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਹਰਿ ਮੇਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਵਡਭਾਗੀਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Sant janā hari melu hari pāiā vaḍbhāgīā bali rām jīu.
Through the company of saints, Hari is found—a rare blessing.
ਨਿਰਮਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਇਆ ਮੁਖਿ ਬੋਲੀ ਹਰਿ ਬਾਣੀ ॥
Niramalu hari pāiā hari guṇ gāiā mukhi bolī hari bāṇī.
The Pure One is found, His praises are sung, and the tongue speaks Hari's song.
ਸੰਤ ਜਨਾ ਵਡਭਾਗੀ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਕਥੀਐ ਅਕਥ ਕਹਾਣੀ ॥
Sant janā vaḍbhāgī pāiā hari kathīai akath kahāṇī.
Blessed is the meeting with saints—together they speak the unspeakable.
ਹਿਰਦੈ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਧੁਨਿ ਉਪਜੀ ਹਰਿ ਜਪੀਐ ਮਸਤਕਿ ਭਾਗੁ ਜੀਉ ॥
Hiradai hari hari hari dhuni upajī hari japīai masataki bhāgu jīu.
Within the heart, Hari, Hari, Hari resounds—destiny unfolds.
ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬੋਲੇ ਤੀਜੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਉਪਜੈ ਮਨਿ ਬੈਰਾਗੁ ਜੀਉ ॥੩॥
Janu nāku bole tījī lāvai hari upjai mani bairāgu jīu.
Says Nanak: in the third step, love deepens into longing.
Fourth Laav
ਹਰਿ ਚਉਥੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਮਨਿ ਸਹਜੁ ਭਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har cauthṛī lāv mani sahaju bhaiā hari pāiā bali rām jīu.
In the fourth step, the mind comes to rest—Hari is found.
ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਸੁਭਾਇ ਹਰਿ ਮਨਿ ਤਨਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Guramukhi miliā subhāi hari mani tani mīṭhā lāiā bali rām jīu.
Through the Guru's way, meeting happens naturally—Hari becomes sweet to body and soul.
ਹਰਿ ਮੀਠਾ ਲਾਇਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਭਾਇਆ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਲਿਵ ਲਾਈ ॥
Har mīṭhā lāiā mere prabh bhāiā anadinu hari liv lāī.
Hari is sweet, the Beloved is pleased—day and night, attention rests in Him.
ਮਨ ਚਿੰਦਿਆ ਫਲੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਜੀ ਵਾਧਾਈ ॥
Man cindiā phalu pāiā suāmī hari nāmi vajī vādhāī.
The heart's desire comes to fruition—the Name rings out in celebration.
ਹਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਭਿ ਠਾਕੁਰਿ ਕਾਜੁ ਰਚਾਇਆ ਧਨ ਹਿਰਦੈ ਨਾਮਿ ਵਿਗਾਸੀ ॥
Har prabhi ṭhākuri kāju racāiā dhan hiradai nāmi vigāsī.
The union is fulfilled—the bride's heart blooms in the Naam.
ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬੋਲੇ ਚਉਥੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਇਆ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅਵਿਨਾਸੀ ॥੪॥੨॥
Janu nānaku bole cauthī lāvai hari pāiā prabhu avināsī.
Says Nanak: in the fourth step, the eternal hari/prabhu/love is found.
What does this have to do with us now?
In modern love, we already know these four steps, even if we have never read the Laavaan. Think of how it begins: a woman dresses up, prepares herself, turns her attention toward love, and hopes to attract someone she truly desires. She primps and preens, not out of vanity, but because she is readying herself for the meeting. That is the first step—parviratī, a turning toward the beloved, a rooting in the hope that something beautiful is about to begin.
Then she meets him. There are butterflies, a flutter in the chest, a feeling that the world has suddenly become more vibrant. Every glance feels charged, every word carries weight. She cannot quite explain it, but something inside her knows this is significant. That is the second step—milāiā, the meeting. The unstruck sound begins to play, not as something heard with the ears, but as something felt in the bones. It is the music of new love, the harbinger of the bliss to come.
As the relationship deepens, she finds herself missing him when he is not around. She thinks of him constantly, longs for his presence, and cannot imagine her days without him. This is not weakness; it is the heart recognizing that it has found something worth holding onto. That is the third step—man chāo, the longing that awakens in the heart, the desire to keep being with the beloved, to know them more fully, to grow alongside them.
And then, finally, there comes a day when she no longer has to perform. The makeup comes off, the pretenses fall away, and she is simply herself. She knows, with a quiet and unshakable confidence, that she is loved exactly as she is. She does not have to earn it, prove it, or fight for it. It is simply there. That is the fourth step—man sahaj, the intuitive ease of resting in love, the fulfillment of the heart's deepest desire. This is what Guru Ram Das is teaching us: that the journey of the soul toward the Divine is no different from the journey of the heart toward true love. And in both, the destination is the same—the quiet, certain knowledge that we are home.
Singing oneness!
