1. Emily Dickinson mentions the preference of the divine over friend, because "God remembers the longest" ... he is even preferred over the friend to whom your death matters ("is potential").
Death is potential to that Man
Who dies — and to his friend —
Beyond that — unconspicuous
To Anyone but God —
Of these Two — God remembers
The longest — for the friend —
Is integral — and therefore [Is] subsequent
Itself dissolved — of God —
A 44 year old woman who had cancer had the following complaints: "I never got to be in the driver's seat of my own life. I always did what someone else wanted me to do. I always been someone's daughter, or mother, or wife; I've never just been me."
4. Material Friends vs. Spiritual Friends
There are friends
who want you to be their friends
Then there are friends who want you to be yourself
The difference between the people of the world and "God" is that the people of the world are all selfish. They want you to be the perfect friend, the perfect sibling, or parent or child. Where as God didn't make you just a friend, or sibling, a child or a parent. He made you, you! God wants you to be yourself whereas everyone else wants you to be someone else. Therefore God is the best friend. He wishes you to be the authentic you! He wants you to be Saibhang like himself. Self-sufficient.
Buddha on the importance of friendship:
On one occasion the Venerable Ananda, the Buddha’s attendant, came to the Buddha and said that in his view half the spiritual life revolves around spiritual friendship. The Buddha immediately corrected him and said, “Do not say this, Ananda! Do not say this, Ananda! Spiritual friendship is not half the spiritual life. It’s the entire spiritual life!” Then, with reference to himself, the Buddha added, “In this whole world, I am the supreme spiritual friend of living beings, because it is in dependence upon me, by relying upon me, that those who are subject to birth, old age, and death become liberated from birth, old age, and death.”
Guru Nanak on how to recognize a "holy person" (MacAuliffe's Chapter 11)
The Guru replied to a man called Kalu who had asked him for a definition of a holy man: 'Recognize him as holy in whom are to be found friend ship, sympathy, pleasure at the welfare of others, and dislike of evil company. In the first place, the intentions of holy men are pure. Secondly, they are pleased on hearing the praises of others. Thirdly, holy men serve the virtuous. Fourthly, they honour those who can impart to them learning and good counsel. Fifthly, as there is a periodical craving for food or intoxicants, so they feel a craving for the Guru's word and for divine knowledge. Sixthly, they love their wives, and renounce other women. Seventhly, they avoid subjects from which quarrels may arise. Eighthly, they serve those who are superior to themselves in intelligence or devotion. Ninthly, even if strong, they are not arrogant, and trample not on others. Tenthly, they abandon the society of the evil, and only associate with the holy.'
Dost Ban Ban Ke Mile Mujhko Mitaane Waale
I have seen many "friends" who want me vanquished
Maine Dekhe Hain Kai Rang Badalane Waale
I have seen many colors that are habitual of change
- Saeed Rahi Ghazal sung by Jagjit Singh
[lyrics and translation below]
Here is a new version that I saw in March 2021; I like the live Jagjit Singh version better:
Lyrics
Dost Ban Ban ke Mile Mujhko Mitaane Waale Maine Dekhe Hain Kai Rang Badalane Waale
Tumne Chup Rehkar Sitam Aur Bhee Dhaayaa Mujhpar Tumse Achchhe Hain Mere Haal Pe Hansne Waale
Main To Ikhalaq* Ke Hathon Hi Bika Kartaa Hoon Aur Honge Tere Baazar Mein Bikne Waale
Akhree baar salaam-e-dil-e-mustar le lo Phir na lautenge shab-e-hijr ke rone waale
Apni masti ke liye Zarf** ko badnaam na kar, Aa ke maikhaane me gir, Gir ke sambhalne waale
Meaning ... Translation
I have seen many colors that are habitual of change I have seen many "friends" who want me vanquished
Your silence caused me the most pain The ones who laugh at me are better than you
I am sold only to good nature There may be others who sell in your market
Hear the goodbye of my pained heart I might never return
Don't blame capacity for your inebriation O unstable one, come fall in the house of love
- Shivpreet Singh
English Transliteration
Dost Ban Ban ke Mile Mujhko Mitaane Waale Maine Dekhe Hain Kai Rang Badalane Waale
Tumne Chup Rehkar Sitam Aur Bhee Dhaayaa Mujhpar Tumse Achchhe Hain Mere Haal Pe Hansne Waale
Main To Ikhalaq* Ke Hathon Hi Bika Kartaa Hoon Aur Honge Tere Baazar Mein Bikne Waale
Akhree baar salaam-e-dil-e-mustar le lo Phir na lautenge shab-e-hijr ke rone waale (Saeed Anwar may have written "Aakhree Daur Pe" instead of "Aakhree Baar")
Not sung by Jagjit: Apni masti ke liye Zarf** ko badnaam na kar, Aa ke maikhaane me gir, Gir ke sambhalne waale
* Ikhlaq comes from Akhlaq (Arabic: أخلاق) is the practice of virtue, morality and manners in Islamic theology and falsafah (philosophy). Good nature.
** Zarf is a holder, usually of ornamental metal, for a coffee cup without a handle
Lyrics in Hindi
दोस्त बन बन के मिले मुझको मिटाने वाले मैं ने देखे हैं कई रंग बदलने वाले
तुमने चुप रहकर सितम और भी ढाया मुझ पर तुमसे अच्छे हैं मेरे हाल पे हंसनेवाले
मैं तो इख़लाक़ के हाथों ही बिका करता हूं और होंगे तेरे बाज़ार में बिकनेवाले (इख़लाक : Good Nature)
आख़री बार सलाम-ए-दिल-ए-मुज़्तर ले लो फिर ना लौटेंगे शब-ए-हिज्र के रोनेवाले (सलाम-ए-दिल-ए-मुज़्तर : Salutation from the distressed heart)
Singing oneness!
